Of Cabbages and Kings
by Herochick007
Summary: Insanity runs rampant though this story, Ginny has finally snapped. Follow her crazy ideas including pineapples and the wizarding mafia!
1. The Arrival of Pineapples

**A/N: I own nothing.**

 **This is insanity, read at your own risk**

* * *

Hermione studied the large box.

"What is is?"

"Pineapples," Ginny answered.

"Why?"

"Because," Ginny answered with a shrug. Hermione was starting to wonder if maybe Fred and George had finally done some damage to the young girl's brain.

"Where are we putting the pineapples?"

"For now, the box will stay here, but I'll need them later when I have to take on the wizarding mafia."

"Wizarding mafia?"

"Yes, Percy owes the money, so I'm solving the problem before he decides to marry me off to the highest bidder," she answered. Hermione decided that brain damage was no longer a question, but a positive.

"And how are we taking on the wizarding mafia with pineapples?" Ginny shrugged.

"I'll figure it out, don't worry, just make sure you're wearing armor after dinner," she answered skipping out of the common room leaving the large wooden box sitting in the middle of the floor.

"Harry, you're girlfriend left a large wooden box of pineapples in the middle of the floor."

"Yes, she told me about it. Something about the wizarding mafia. I think she's finally snapped. Have you seen her recently. We should see about getting her some help."

"Good idea. She said something about armor after dinner, so we know she'll be here for that."

"How much trouble can she cause in," Harry paused glancing at the clock, "four hours?"

It turned out the answer was a lot.

"Professor, can you explain why we use flobberworms in this potion?" Ginny asked looking up at Professor Snape.

"Because the mucus of a flobberworm has properties that help reduce inflammation," Professor Snape answered.

"Mucus is slimy," she stated taking a handful of it and rubbing it across Professor Snape's desk. "Now your desk is slimy," she stated with a smile.

"Miss Weasley, that will be fifty points from Gryffindor."

"Okay, don't let the unicorns eat your brains," she stated walking out of the classroom. As she left, her cauldron, which had been simmering all lesson exploded covering the room in pink and green glitter.


	2. Fighting Friends!

**A/N: I still own nothing, please don't sue!**

"Miss Weasley, can you please explain why you covered the potions classroom in glitter?"

"Because it was gloomy and when the mafia shows up, they'll be surprised, Headmaster."

"And why would the wizard mafia come here, Miss Weasley?"

"So I can pay them off with pineapples and not have to marry Lucius Malfoy, duh. Got to go," Ginny announced dancing out of the headmaster's office leaving him with a confused expression on his face.

"Ginny! There you are, Harry and I have been looking for you all day, where have you been?"

"Saving the world, Hermione, saving the world," Ginny answered sagely tossing her head and causing her hair to fly everywhere. "Now, we've got the pineapples, the potion lab is covered, we just need to make sure there are no surprises waiting for us."

"Ginny, we're worried about you. None of this is making any sense. We think you should see Madame Pomfrey."

"You're on their side, they got to you already!" Ginny screamed shooting hexes at Hermione as she ran down the hall towards the great hall. Hermione tried to dodge, but one hit her arm causing her to freeze.

"Now everyone will know you're not on my side," she laughed as Hermione's arm turned blue. "Good luck finding a counter charm," she added before disappearing down the hallway.

Hermione blinked looking at her now blue arm a couple times. It didn't hurt, it simply looked as though an ink well had exploded on it. She debated going to see Madame Pomfry, but decided trying to catch Ginny would be a better use of her time.

"Ginny?" Ginny looked up at Harry. Up because he was standing over her. She was laying on the floor just inside the great hall. The other students had not yet arrived for dinner.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for Luna, studying the sky, why?"

"Have you seen Hermione?"

"Yup." Harry waited a minute.

"Where?"

"In the hall. She's not there now, I think. I hexed her arm."

"Why?"

"She tried to stop me," Ginny answered simply standing up. "Did you know Mars is bright tonight?" Harry stared at her for a second.

"Gin, did something happen to your head? Maybe you hit it?"

"Nope, don't think so...I blame the nargles, got to find Luna...she'll fix it," Ginny replied before kissing Harry quickly and darting back out of the great hall into the crowd of students. Harry stood there for a second dumb struck. He shook head and went to see if her could find Hermione.

"Luna, Luna, Luna," Ginny chanted sitting outside the Ravenclaw dormitory.

"What is the benefit of madness," the statue asked. Ginny tilted her head and looked at it.

"No one sees it coming, we will be triumphant!" She stated.

"Well reasoned," it answered allowing her into the common room.

"Luna?" She looked around. Not seeing her friend, she chose one of chairs and sat down. Within a few seconds, she laid her head against the back of the chair, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.


	3. Hunting for Boys

**A/N: I don't own anything.**

 **I am also out of lollipops. Reviews will do instead?**

While everyone spent most of the evening looking for Ginny, including every one in Ravenclaw, Luna sneaked down in the restricted section the library. She pulled a can of red spray paint from her bag, drew a smiley face on the sign and slipped back into the search party before anyone noticed her missing.

"We found her, Professor," Padma screamed. Ginny, still asleep, mumbled something about pancakes.

"How did she get in here?" Professor Flitwick asked looking at his Ravenclaws.

"She must have answered the riddle," Luna answered gently waking Ginny.

"Is it over? Did we win?" she asked looking around. Luna nodded now wearing a tinfoil hat with a unicorn horn on it.

"We won. The gnomes are defeated and the mafia has the pineapples. You need to return to home base."

"Kay," Ginny answered walking back to the Gryffindor common room leaving a house full of Ravenclaws both confused and worried.

"Ginny! Where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you!" Harry exclaimed as Ginny climbed into the common room.

"Had to defeat the slug army, no big, it's done. Now, where's Percy? I still need to yell at him for trying to sell me to mafia."

"Haven't seen him," George stated as he and Fred appeared next to their little sister.

"What's this we hear about you losing your mind and hexing Hermione?"

"She wasn't on my side. Besides, it's not like I hurt her, Smurfs are in this year." Ginny laughed before her and her brothers left the common room again to look for Percy.

"I think they've all lost their minds," Hermione stated poking her head out from behind one of the chairs. Her arm was still blue, Madame Pomfrey had no idea how to fix it. She was pretty sure Ginny had made up the spell herself.

"Percy! Percy, here Percy, I have paperwork you can do," Ginny called roaming the halls. Fred and George had disappeared to check the Quiddich pitch, just in case. Angelina was helping them. Ginny was pretty sure she was helping by snogging them senseless, but who was she to judge. Suddenly an idea struck her.

She slipped down into the dungeons looking around. Finding a random Slytherin girl she followed her.

"Who are you?"

"Daphne Greengrass...and you are?"

"Ginny, Queen of the Lollies, I demand you show to me to your common room, or find me Draco Malfoy." Daphne blinked a few times.

"Um, okay? This way, Ginny."


	4. Kissing the Boy

**A/N: I still don't own Harry Potter, but I do own half a bag of gummy bears!**

 **I'm having some trouble keeping this story crazy enough. I've never written one like this before, so please review!**

Ginny stood outside a dark door, in a dark hallway, surrounded by dark bricks dripping with water. The constant drip drip made her wonder about ice cream.

"Here, I got you Draco. They wouldn't let me bring a blood traitor into the common room," Daphne announced shoving Draco towards Ginny.

"Hi hi! I need your help Draco."

"Why should I help you, Weaselette?"

"Because, I'm pretty, I'm a girl, you hate my brothers?"

"I do hate your brothers. What's in it for me?"

"Percy tried to sell me to mafia, I gave them pineapples instead now I need to punish Percy, but we can't find where he's hiding. So..." she paused long enough to take a breath. Draco blinked. He'd heard the youngest Weasel brat was insane.

"This should summon him instantly," she added with a smile as she wrapped her arms around Draco and kissed him roughly on the lips. Draco wanted to push her away, yell at her for touching him, but something in him decided to return the kiss instead. Soon they were lip locked, arms around each other.

"Ginny!" Ginny looked up, her eyes slightly dazed.

"Hi, Percy. I see you found me. Now, you're going to pay!" She screamed releasing Draco and chasing after Percy, wand drawn. Draco stood there for a second wondering if he was just as insane as she was. He had wanted the kiss to continue.


	5. Cheese Monster to Niffler Queen

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters.**

 **I am currently out of cheese and bought coffee, so enjoy the caffeine induced insanity!**

"Ms. Weasley, why are you in the hall after hours? Shouldn't you be in your dorm?"

"Yes, but my dorm is full of angry bees." Professor Flitwick blinked.

"Bees? Why is your dorm filled with angry bees?"

"Because, Angelina got mad at Fred, or George, doesn't matter, and threw a bee hive at them."

"Has anyone been hurt?"

"I dunno? I covered myself with mustard and got out of there. Have you seen a blue otter?"

"A blue otter?"

"Yes, Hermione said she would help me with the bees, but instead turned into an otter and swam away. If you see her, tell her I've got to get help from someone less...aquatic." Ginny twirled a few times before dancing off on her toes. Professor Flitwick blinked his eyes a few times wondering what had just happened.

Meanwhile somewhere else in the castle...

"Luna, I'm bored," George whined looking at the younger girl.

"Want to learn about Fleetfooted Furrets?" she asked. George nodded slightly. He was currently hiding from Ginny because he'd heard she wanted to feed him to thestrals for not helping her find Percy. Luna started reading from the book and within seconds George had fallen asleep at the table.

"Niffler Queen to Cheese Monster, the Salamander has crashed. I repeat, the Salamander has crashed," Luna said softly into a small box in her hand.

"This is Cheese Monster, any sightings of the Dopey Phoenix?"

"No, Cheese Monster, no sightings. The Salamander knows nothing. Please advise?"

"Who are you talking to?" Luna looked up into the deep green eyes of Harry.

"Um, Niffler Queen signing off," Luna said quickly shoving the box into her pocket.

"Niffler Queen?" Harry asked. "Don't tell me you're involved in Ginny's trip into insanity. Speaking of which, have you seen her? I'm starting to get worried and Hermione has convinced me we should take her to Madame Pomfrey."

"No, I haven't seen her," Luna said serenely knowing she wasn't technically lying. Talking to Ginny was not the same as seeing her.

"I'll check the dorm again, maybe she came back," Harry said leaving the library as George started snoring.

"Luna?" Luna looked back up hoping Harry hadn't decided to come back. Instead she found herself staring into the eyes of Fred Weasley.

"Fred! I found George passed out, I think someone hit him with a sleeping spell. Stay here with him while I go get help," Luna ordered rushing from the library.

"Cheese Monster, both Slimies are in the library, please advise!"

"I'm on my way, Niffler Queen, hold position!" Luna nodded to herself staying just outside the library until Ginny arrived wearing a deep green ball gown with spaghetti straps and a pair of high heeled roller skates.

"George is sleeping and Fred is guarding him."

"Thank you my faithful Luna. There will be fudge waiting for you!" Ginny announced skating into the library.


	6. Potions and Tutus

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter, any characters you recognize, or a pink tutu. Thank you for reading**.

George woke up hanging upside down from a chandelier. Fred was next to him.

"What happened? Last thing I remember is talking to Luna about...something?"

"Ginny happened. She says it's your fault she lost her roller skates," Fred answered.

"Wait...what? How did she even get us up here?"

"Magic," Fred answered sarcastically. "Don't worry, it's nearly breakfast time so hopefully someone will find us soon. Do you recognize where we are?"

"No," George looked around trying to figure that exact thing out. He saw a lot of dust, some old looking books, and a desk that was covered in papers. He squinted trying to read the papers, but they all seemed to be written in a foreign language, and in green crayon.

"You're awake, good." George felt himself pale. Fred caught his eye and the both looked to the right. Ginny was sitting on a large purple cushion with a cat in her lap.

"Ginny! Get us down from here."

"No. I was busy trying to find you and I saw you kissing Angelina. Then Professor Snape caught me and took my roller skates. So, you need to buy me a new pair."

"What? I wasn't kissing Angelina! I was in bed all night."

"You're free to go," Ginny stated letting her brother down. "If you see Harry tell him he made my list too," she added as she watched him run from the room.

"Ginny, seriously? I'll buy you some new skates, green ones?"

"Pink, with glitter! And you will enchant them to leave rainbows in my wake?"

"Deal, just let me down." Ginny smiled lowering the remaining twin to the ground. He hurried off to the owlery to order Ginny her skates. He couldn't hope she'd forget.

Satisfied with her work, Ginny walked into the great hall wearing her school robes, a hat made of playing cards, and shoes that looked like lettuce. She took a seat next to Ron and Hermione.

"Have either of you seen Harry yet today?" Both of them shook their heads.

"He said something about not wanting to come to breakfast," Hermione said.

"In other words he's avoiding me," Ginny stated glaring at the duo. "Is it because I kissed Draco?" she asked innocently.

"What! You kissed that slimy git?"

"Yes, how else was I supposed to summon Percy to yell at him? It was rather nice, nicer than kissing Harry. I think I'll do it again," she said with a smile. Ron choked on the bite of sausage he had in his mouth. Hermione quickly saved him while Ginny laughed maniacally.

Ginny's first class of the day was potions and Professor Snape had already heard about her latest antics. This time involving honey, a live lizard and one of the her brothers. He couldn't help but wonder if her torturing her brothers would have an impact on him or not.

She showed up on time, took her seat quietly, but none of that could distract him from the glittery pink tutu she was currently wearing.

" Miss Weasley, could you please remove the tutu?"

"But it keeps the weasel mob from finding me," she protested. He fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Be that as it may, Miss Weasley, but if a stray bit of glitter ends up in your cauldron, the weasels will be the least of your worries." Ginny stared at her professor for a minute before removing the tutu and setting it aside.

"Good, now turn your books to page three hundred and ninety-four."


	7. Now with 20 percent more Glitter!

**A/N: I do not own Ginny, Luna, Severus, you know the rest.**

Ginny glanced at the rest of the room. Someone, maybe Dumbledore had decided that putting the Slytherins and Gryffindors together for potions was a bad idea. Ginny had a feeling Harry was involved.

She now had potions with the Ravenclaws. Severus looked over at Luna who seemed to be reciting something under her breath. He sighed wondering if it was possible for him to have a normal class.

He'd already dealt with Draco and Harry earlier, the pair fighting about something. He would have the twins later...he wondered if he could fake a mental breakdown.

"Miss Lovegood, what would happen to this Draft of Percipis if I were to add lacewing legs?"

"A fresh baked chocolate chip cookie, parsley, a fresh peach, tea, preferably Earl Grey, hot, " Luna continued listing off random food items.

"None of those are the answer to the question, Miss Lovegood."

"I didn't hear the question. I figured you'd be very interested in my grocery list because of fliggy binns."

"Fliggy binns?"

"Yes, they are little creatures similar to wrackspurts. They crawl into your ears and make you forget things, usually various lists. I figured telling you my grocery list, you might remember yours." Severus Snape stared at the girl. Had everyone in this year gone insane. Maybe he wouldn't need to fake a mental breakdown. He seemed to be half way there on his own.

He glanced over at Ginny. She had decided that her potion was boring and was decorating the cauldron with glitter.

"Miss Weasley, what did I tell you about glitter?"

"I understand, but this potion calls for glitter," she said serenely with a strange smile across her face. She looked down at her cauldron as a cloud of glitter exploded from it covering the entire classroom, the students, and Professor Snape in pink and silver glitter.

"Now we're all safe from the weasel army!" Ginny announced as she grabbed Luna's hand and the pair skipped out of the potions lab.

He debated going after them, but instead started directing the remaining students how to clean the glittery mess. Dumbledore was going hear about this one.

"Did we win?" Luna asked as her and Ginny sat from swings suspended from the ceiling of the great hall.

"Of course, the weasel army is gone, we won, and now we need to focus on our next important mission. Do you have any ideas?"

"No, but we could try to catch a crumple-horned snorack?"

"Okay, how do we do that?"

"First we need some very large nets..."

"Miss Weasley, Miss Lovegood, get down from there this instant!" The girls looked down at the astonished face of Filch.

"Ohh, we got caught," Ginny laughed. She pulled out a few more glitter bombs, tossed them down. The room filled with glittery smoke. When the smoke cleared, Ginny and Luna were gone and Filch was standing there wearing a pink and purple glittery tutu.


	8. Bubbles

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, or a boogie board, or glitter.**

"Those girls are menances," Filch stated. Dumbledore simply stared at him.

"Which girls? Miss Weasley?"

"Yes, her and the Lovegood girl. They destroyed the great hall."

"No, it is still standing, just covered in glitter. They assured me it would be back to normal before tomorrow morning."

"They covered me in glitter."

"For which they shall be punished, Argus. I have already spoken to their head of house and they will serve detention."

"With me?"

"No, with Professor Snape, he called dibs." Argus grumbled but couldn't argue with dibs.

"Okay, so glitter bombs, how did you do it?" Fred asked cornering his sister. She looked up at him and smiled, revealing she'd turned all her teeth green.

"Not telling, you're still on my list."

"What list? How the bloody hell did I get on your list, you already punished me for whatever I did last time."

"Yes. But you're still on the list."

"Which list?" George asked. Luna appeared behind him.

"The list of people I'm not telling," Ginny answered as she and Luna skipped towards the greenhouses.

"What did they want?"

"The glitter bomb formula."

"But if you tell them..."

"I know! And we can't allow that to happen. Now, did you manage to find a big enough net?"

"No. However, I found an interesting book."

"How interesting?" Luna smiled. Ginny nodded.

"Will it help with our detention with Professor Snape this evening?"

"I believe it will." The girls laughed stepping into greenhouse one and donning their earmuffs. They were working with mandrakes today. Professor Sprout watched Ginny and Luna, wondering exactly why the Ravenclaw girl was in the class. She was supposed to have Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs this period. However, she'd heard enough reports from other teachers. Besides, the Lovegood girl wasn't actually hurting anything.

Luna glanced at Ginny. The mandrakes were nearly all safely potted.

"What do you think?"

"I think the lemon tree is very pretty, but impossible to eat."

"I concur," at this statement the greenhouse filled with lemon scented bubbles. Ginny and Luna were suddenly wearing bikinis and had acquired boogie boards.

"Surf's up!" Ginny screamed as she slid across the floor on her board, Luna following. They slid straight out the door and outside. A few of the students followed, having found a whole stack of boards under one of the table.

"I think I like them," one of the Gryffindors commented covered in bubbles.

"They're fun," a Hufflepuff girl added as she started sculpting the bubbles into a castle with the help of her mandrake.

 **A/N II: No plants were harmed in making of this chapter.**


	9. They kiss

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, I do own three half drank bottles of Pepsi...which have nothing to do with this story.**

Dinner was quiet, Luna and Ginny were nowhere to be found.

"I'm scared," George whispered looking around. Fred nodded in agreement. Ginny had been targeting them so much that now they were starting to get paranoid.

"I'm sure they're just in the library or something," Ron stated his mouth full of food. Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ron, please close your mouth, and we should be worried. Your sister has completely lost it. They filled the green house with bubbles."

"And your point?" a voice asked from behind Hermione.

"It was an interesting prank," Hermione quickly said. Ginny smiled sliding into an empty seat. Across the room, Luna did the same. Fred and George didn't touch another bite of their food.

"So, Harry, can you help me with my homework?" Ginny asked. Harry nodded slowly.

"Awesome, I'm stuck on this one spell, and I figured you'd know how to do it. Got to go," Ginny said quickly seeing Professor Snape walk into the great hall. Luna remained in her seat.

"Doesn't she have detention with him tonight?"

"Yes."

"I almost feel sorry for him."

Luna walked into the dungeon wearing a giant bee costume, Ginny followed dressed like a flamingo.

"Have a seat girls...wait, did I give you detention Miss Lovegood?"

"Yes." Professor Snape shrugged. He wasn't about to waste time arguing with the girl.

"Lines, each of you, I will not bring glitter to class a hundred times. Start." Ginny started writing with a quill shaped like a bone. Luna picked up the piece of parchment, folded it into a paper airplane and started carving into the desk.

"This way it will last forever and remind future students," she explained. Professor Snape sighed and went back to trying to grade papers.

Ginny's quill ran out of ink after fifty times.

"Professor, do you have any ink?" Without a word, Professor Snape placed an ink well on Ginny's desk.

"Thank you."

"Professor?" They all looked up. Draco stood in the doorway. Ginny waved at him.

"Hi, Draco!"

"Ginny," Draco acknowledged. He wondered if walking over to her and kissing her was an insane idea. There had been so much insanity running wild lately. He strolled into the room, straight to Ginny. She looked at him and smiled. He leaned forward planting a kiss on her lips. They tasted like strawberry. Ginny threw herself into Draco's arms kissing him back while Professor Snape and Luna stood their with confused expressions on their faces.

"Can we go now, Professor?" Luna asked while Ginny and Draco continued making out, now leaning against Professor Snape's desk.

"Yes, get out, all of you!" Luna tap danced out of the room while Ginny and Draco separated long enough to find the doorway. Professor Snape put his head in his hands wondering just how long he had before Lucius started yelling at him for allowing Draco to...whatever with Miss Weasley.

The next morning, everyone knew Draco and Ginny were a couple.

"Ginny, him? Really?" Harry asked shaking his head at losing his girlfriend.

"I like him, oh, I don't need help with that spell anymore," she added with a smile as she tossed a handful of flowers at Harry before skipping over to the Slytherin table and sitting down in Draco's lap.

Luna watched them before looking around the great hall and sitting down in Neville's lap.

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Um...hi?"

"Great, see you later," she darted off leaving a trail of rose petals floating around Neville.

"It looks like Valentine's Day exploded in here," Ron muttered as a swarm of doves cooed loudly from the rafters.

"Mum's going to kill us," Fred muttered.

"Maybe we can have Ginny committed?" Hermione rolled her eyes, now people were starting to realize the girl was insane?

"Just because she's dating someone you don't like doesn't mean she's lost her mind. Seriously, is your whole family insane?" she asked getting up and stomping out of the hall. The three Weasley boys looked at each other in disbelief.


	10. Miss Eviland her cat

**A/N: I still don't own Harry Potter. I do own a bag of shredded cheese...it's now empty.**

Draco couldn't believe it, Ginny had actually decided to allow him to be part of her next act. His position was guarding the doorway while her and Luna painted the charms classroom with rainbows. He watched the from the doorway, Luna standing on a desk while Ginny had managed to stick herself to the ceiling.

"Draco, can you help me?" she asked. He rushed to her side taking the three pounds of streamers from her.

"Toss them up and down the wall. I've got somewhere to be," she stated darting off leaving Draco and Luna behind.

"I've got confetti," Luna stated with a smile.

Ginny had nearly managed to make it back to the common room when she spotted Fred, or maybe it was George, right now, both of them were annoyingly interchangeable. Mum had sent her a howler about dating Draco. She had a feeling Ron was responsible, but he was hiding from her. The twins were already on the list.

"Gred, Forge, how nice to find you," she stated smiling a strangely scary smile. Both boys paled at the sight of her.

"Um, Ginny, hi, we were just...um, going to..."

"Find Ron for me?" she suggested sweetly. They nodded running off separate directions. Ginny laughed knowing neither of them was going to find Ron. She was nearly certain Hermione was hiding him.

"Hermione, right, need to find her too," she muttered looking around. There was no one else in the hall, so she pulled out a can of spray cheese and wrote

"Cheezy Rulez" on the wall before pulling a pair of shrunken ice skates from her pocket. Fred still hadn't bought her a new pair of roller skates. She quickly waved her wand turning the entire floor of the corridor into ice. She skated along humming her latest favorite song, "I am the Tyrant" under her breath all the way to the Gryffindor common room. She didn't even pause to give the password, the portrait swung open, afraid of what Ginny might do. There were rumors she'd repainted one of the suits of armor to look like a Japanese Magical Girl.

"Hermione, are you home?" she called sliding into a chair. A black cat jumped on her lap and she started stroking it. Evil deeds must always, always be done with a cat in your lap, at least that was Ginny's latest idea. A few second later a slightly scared Hermione slunk into the room.

"Ahh, perfect, now, I know we haven't always been on good terms, but you did defend me, sort of, at dinner last night. I will give you one warning, bring me Ron, and I will spare you," she stated. The cat in her lap meowed in agreement. Hermione sighed rolling her eyes.

"Ginny, this has got to stop. Everyone is starting to worry about you. You keep covering things in glitter, doing completely random things to people. You filled the common room with bees..."

"That was Angelina."

"Oh. Either way, Harry and I think you've lost your mind."

"Because I love Draco?"

"No, well, Harry yes, me no. We're worried about you."

"You should be worried about what I'm going to do to Ron for telling mum about me and Draco. We were going announce it ourselves with a lot of glitter." She narrowed her eyes at Hermione. "Now, where is he hiding?"

"Astronomy tower!" Hermione said quickly before Ginny had a chance to hex her. Ginny smiled standing. The cat ran off towards the girls' dorm.

"Thank you, see you at dinner," she smiled dancing off leaving a very confused, and slightly frightened, Hermione standing in the middle of the common room.


	11. Weasels and Squids

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter**

Ginny circled the astronomy tower on her broom. It was really the only way to travel in the air.

"Ron! Where are you, you little weasel?!" She heard him scampering about. Laughing she pulled her wand from her ponytail.

"Come out, come out, where ever you are," she chanted laughing as she landed and stepped off her broom. She didn't see Ron off hand.

"Ron, please, I don't wanna play hide and seek right now. I just wanna talk about how you ratted me and Draco out to mum. That was my news and you spoiled it! Now, I'm going to give you a choice. Either you can let me tell mum something about you, ruin something you wanted to tell her, or you can come out here right now and accept what I think is a completely fair punishment. It's up to you, Ronnikins."

"I don't have anything you can tell mum," came Ron's muffled voice from somewhere in the tower. Ginny laughed.

"Then I'll just have to make something up, let's see, you have a crush on Harry? Or you're failing potions, I could probably convince Snape to actually fail you... Oh, I know, you knocked Hermione up? Think mum might believe that one?"

"You're mad!" Ginny laughed.

"And you're an idiot. Are we done stating the obvious?" Ron slowly stepped out of his hiding place and looked at his little sister. As usual, she wasn't in her school robes, this time she was wearing a lime green bikini top, a black skirt, and quidditch robes. He could tell they weren't hers because they were in Slytherin colors. He had a feeling they belonged to Draco.

"Ginny, please, listen. We're all worried about you. Something's wrong with you, no not because of Draco. You're not acting like you." Ginny narrowed her eyes.

"Ron, I've been possessed by you know how, I've had to live with you, the twins, Percy, and the rest. I've spent my life being the perfect little girl, perfect daughter, guess what? Maybe this is the real me? Maybe you've just been too blind to see it!" Ginny screamed pulling her wand and turning Ron into a weasel. He darted down the stairs and into the main part of the castle. Ginny sighed sitting on the edge of the tower, her feet hanging in the air.

"Maybe I should have just owled mum anyway?" she muttered jumping off the edge and catching herself on her broom. She laughed softly flying a few loop de loops around the lake and debated putting the giant squid in someone's bed. In the end, she decided she didn't want to torture the poor squid. Slowly a large smile crept across her face. She dove down and darted back towards the castle. She'd come up with a brilliant idea!

"Luna? Luna, where are you?' she called standing in the middle of the entrance way. It was starting to get dark out, the cover of night would only help her latest plan. Suddenly a rustling sound caught her attention. Luna swung down from the rafters, using her hair, which had grown extremely long, as a swing.

"Hair growing potion," Luna stated. Ginny blinked and smiled.

"Want to the help me cover the great hall in paintings of the giant squid?"

"Yes! I have a new painting spell. Wanna try the hair growing spell?" Ginny nodded, she could almost imagine having her long red hair swirling around her. Linking arms, the two skipped off towards the great hall laughing almost maniacally.


	12. Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Porcupine!

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, a giant squid, or glitter... you should be very happy I don't!**

 **Word count: 631**

Everyone in the castle woke the next morning to see every wall in the Great Hall, and those leading to it, covered in paintings of the giant squid. Some of them even moved. One painting, on the ceiling, would randomly squirt black ink on whoever was standing beneath it.

"Nice squid," Draco commented as Ginny slid into his lap and started eating his toast. He blinked at the brightness of her outfit. Today she was wearing a pair neon pink coveralls decorated with black hearts, a neon orange tank top that was short enough to be a bra, and a pair of blue roller blades. She was still waiting on her new skates and it was taking entirely too long. She'd have to punish Fred, or was it George? She wasn't sure which one had promised her what time.

"I think Luna painted that one. Speaking of which, wanna double date with me and her and Neville?" she asked. "We're going to sneak to Hogsmeade, paint the town, and drink butterbeer until we either get bored or run out of paint." Draco blinked. This girl's insanity was really starting to grow on him. He'd never had a chance to just cut completely loose.

"Just let me know when." Ginny laughed nodding as she watched her brothers watch her wearily from the Gryffindor table. Someone had found Ron and turned him back into himself. She cursed that she couldn't find a more permanent spell.

"Neville thinks we should use blue pain," Luna stated walking past and dropping a folded piece of lettuce into Ginny's hand. She looked at it, pretended to read something, and nodded.

"Perfect. Friday night," she told Draco. "I'll send a message with the squid," she added jumping on the table and roller blading between the plates. Her hair flew behind her like a curtain, courtesy of Luna's hair growing potion. Draco watched her go and smiled.

Professor Flitwick looked up at his students. Miss Weasley was hanging from the ceiling while Miss Lovegood, who wasn't in this class, was sitting at Miss Weasley's desk.

"Today we're going to practice the summoning charm. I know some of you might think it's a bit advanced, but it is a very useful charm. Now, these are the wand movements. Practice them for now." Ginny glanced down at Luna.

"Accio glitter," she muttered. Suddenly the whole room seemed to explode in glitter. Professor Flitwick sighed. He'd heard about the girls' obsession with covering things in glitter.

"Well, yes, that is how you do a proper summoning charm. Now, evanesco," he said vanishing the glitter. "Ten points to Miss Weasley for properly casting the charm, and five points from Miss Weasley for covering me in glitter." Ginny stuck her tongue out at him. At least he hadn't given her detention like stupid Snape.

Ginny and Luna rowed a red boat through the now flooded hallway after charms class. No one was sure which girl had flooded the hallway, but both had received detention with Mr. Filch.

"Merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream," Ginny sang off key as Luna rowed the boat into the Great Hall. It had not been flood, so the girls jumped out.

"We're a bit early for lunch," Luna commented.

"Hmm, we've already redecorated this room three times... You still have found a large enough net?"

"No... I searched everywhere, even Professor Dumbledore's office. The password is Lemon Sherbert at the moment..." Ginny smiled and hugged Luna.

"I just got a brilliant idea! C'mon, we still need to find enough blue paint to cover Hogsmeade, let's check Dumbledore's office and redecorate it. I'm think..."

"Porcupines?" Luna suggested.

"Perfect!" Ginny agreed as the girls jumped back into their boat and rowed out of the room, Ginny singing again.


End file.
